


Leaving

by Phanallamallama



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU, Angst, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, You Should Have Come to Shiratorizawa, volleyball dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 16:39:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5213081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phanallamallama/pseuds/Phanallamallama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Where?” He almost whispered and Hinata curled in on himself further.</p>
<p>“Shiratorizawa.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What if Kageyama and Hinata didn't manage to fix things, prompting Hinata to leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leaving

**Author's Note:**

> It's like 3am and I couldn't sleep so I wrote this.

_Panic_. Blind panic was all Kageyama felt as Hinata stared at the floor, clutching his arm and flushing.

_Hinata was leaving?_

“I got offered a place, at another school, to play. It will be tough training, but... I want to go,” He said quietly, and everyone else in the gym stayed silent. Until Daichi found words.

“Where?” He almost whispered and Hinata curled in on himself further.

“Shiratorizawa.” 

“What?” Tanaka’s mouth had dropped open and Hinata nodded vigourously. 

“They wanted me,” 

“But…” Nishinoya began but Suga cut him off with a smile. 

“Well done Hinata! That’s amazing,” he cheered, going up to Hinata and placing a hand on his shoulder, a small smile creeping onto Hinata’s lips.

“Really?” He asked, avoiding Kageyama’s stare.

“Of course! We’ll miss you, but you’ll be amazing over there, right Daichi?” Everyone snapped into life after that.

“Yeah, definitely-”

“Congrats Shouyou!”

“But everyone’s so tall…”

“That’s so cool!”

 Hinata smiled and blushed as everyone gathered around him, but Kageyama stayed away. Why hadn’t the bastard told him first? They were partners, he should have told Kageyama that was now over and he’d have to start everything again. That Kageyama would be left alone.

 “No.” he whispered under his breath, and Yamaguchi looked over, seeming to notice his words of shock. “No.” He repeated, shaking his head and staring at the wooden floor. “No, this can’t- no!”

 He hadn’t realised he had yelled it until everyone else was silent. He looked up, startled and caught Hinata’s eye. He wasn’t smiling anymore. “I…” Kageyama trailed off, bouncing on the balls of his feet before bowing. “Excuse me.” He said quickly, then ran out of the gym. He went straight to the taps outside and turned one on, dunking his head under it to try and cool him off. His mind was still fuming.

 Hinata had looked like he wanted to throw up when he saw him. There was something so off about him, but then, there had been for weeks. They hadn’t been able to synchronize, hell, they’d barely been standing near each other and it just wasn’t them anymore. They had lost everything they had built, but that didn’t mean Kageyama wanted to admit it. And now Hinata was just leaving. He couldn’t deal with this. It was still routine for them to sit with Yachi at lunch, even if they didn’t wait properly for each other to walk home, they’d always walk slower or walk quicker, just to meet without seeming to to walk along in silence.

 Kageyama had always wanted to apologise for what he’d said. He’d hit the target of Hinata’s insecurities, and Hinata had hit his right back. It was just when he’d get close to it, the words wouldn’t come out of his mouth, and then Hinata would be gone.

 They had almost been close enough, at least Kageyama felt, to use each other’s given names. ‘Shouyou’ had almost slipped off his lips even several times since then, but then barely any words towards Hinata had. Kageyama realised they’d changed too much for that. He wondered if Hinata even knew his name anymore.

 He moved away and shook his hair out, returning to the club room and flopping down on the floor, squeezing his head in his hands. If he could just apologise, then maybe he wouldn’t go. Kageyama had got to mean a little to Hinata still, hadn’t he? Or was this high self-esteem talking?

 He wondered if he meant the same to Hinata as Hinata did to him. Because to Kageyama, partners had always felt a little bit lacking.

*

 When Kageyama turned up for next practice, Hinata wasn’t there. Yachi was folding a now spare uniform and Kageyama thought he saw tears in her eyes as she placed it into a box. It was also strangely quiet, even when well scored points were made, until someone finally voiced their feelings.

 “Ugh, it’s too quiet without Hinata, I can actually hear myself think.” Everyone’s head snapped round to Tsukishima in surprise.

 “Tsuki…” Yamaguchi trailed off and he just shrugged.

“He’s right,” Ennoshita agreed. “He’d grown on me,”

 “Okay, I know it’s weird but I’m stopping this before we get too distracted from a good practice,” Daichi began but Nishinoya let out a whine.

 “But it’s not the same. There’s no one yelling and there’s no weirdo quick, what’s the point?” he asked and Kageyama felt himself tense up. There hadn’t been any special type of quick for weeks.

 “Morale is low, I understand that. Hinata was a great addition to the team but he’s leaving in a week and there isn’t anything we can do about it apart from learn to work with who we have now. A lot of strategy must change and we need to give it our all so when we compete soon all our work doesn’t go to nothing,” Daichi tried again, but Nishinoya sat down on the floor.

“It doesn’t feel like it’s going towards anything right now.”

Daichi started yelling at Noya to start caring more, but Kageyama was feeling the same. It wasn’t as if he didn’t care about this team and where they went, it was just that their heart had suddenly disappeared. Imagining Hinata at Shiratorizawa was imagining the sun being punched out of him in horrific workouts until the warmth in his eyes faded. He shuddered at the thought.

Something was still off in the way Hinata had told them though. He looked guilty, but it didn’t look like it was just because he was leaving to Kageyama, it looked like more. It didn’t look like he wanted to go. He’d leave, be alone and leave Kageyama alone and without hope for his future in volleyball. Hinata had been the one to make him great, to make him care, and screw him if he thought he could just leave. He was going to corner him at lunch.

*

Lunchtime never happened. Hinata never showed up and he and Yachi sat uncomfortably, hoping he’d appear before finally beginning on homework due to the lack of conversation. Kageyama was unconsciously grinding his teeth before Yachi (trembling) pointed it out to him. He apologised and sighed, flopping back in his seat.

“I- I don’t think he wants to go,” she piped up randomly and Kageyama felt his body spring to life.

“You don’t think so?” He asked, leaning forwards on the desk earnestly so that Yachi leant away.

“Um, yeah. I asked him about it earlier, and he didn’t seem to be telling the truth about his excitement,” he told him and Kageyama sighed. He knew it. “Um, Kageyama-kun? Maybe… Maybe you should speak to him,” she said quietly and Kageyama snapped up again.

“Why?” he questioned and she waved her hands in front of her.

“I mean, you two are partners, aren’t you?” she asked, and Kageyama winced. That word again. He stood up and grabbed hold of his books.

“We used to be,” he mumbled, and left the classroom.

*

Kageyama kept seeing Hinata drifting round the school. There was no energy in his walk and he looked tired. Hinata _never_ looked tired, he biked up a mountain everyday and always had _excess_ energy to put into volleyball. If anything, he should have more energy, not that that would be safe for anyone near him.

Then he’d heard from Suga who had checked up on him that he was going to the Shiratorizawa practices after school, and Kageyama gritted his teeth. They were already destroying Hinata, and it had barely been a few days. Fuck, he really had to do something about this. He was just… scared. Of rejection. Because this wasn’t Kageyama wanting Hinata to stay for personal gain, this was him wanting him to stay because he _cared_ about him. He wanted Hinata to be happy, to do what he loved, to be with people who loved him, to stay his partner. Or… more. More would be…

He didn’t want Hinata to leave.

Why did he have to have so much pride, dammit!

*

Hinata just had to pick the last day he would be there after the last practice when everyone with brains would have gone home to sneak back into the gym. And of course Kageyama was an idiot who was going to practice his serves to Hinata even when he knew Hinata would never come back.

He walked in to see Hinata clutching the net, his eyes squeezed shut and body sagging

“What the hell are you doing, dumbass?” Kageyama wanted to hit himself. Why were his social skills so shit?

“I…” Hinata couldn’t even answer him. He just gave him a sad smile. He wasn’t even fighting with some stupid comeback. “I’m going to miss it,” he mumbled.

“Then don’t go.” Kageyama said, picking up a ball and spinning it in his hands, before tossing it to Hinata who fumbled and dropped it. Then Kageyama noticed the bandages on his hands. “What the hell did you do?” he growled as he strode up to Hinata, grabbing a wrist in his hand and peering at the seven white bandages littering his fingers.

“Training,” Hinata mumbled, not looking at him.

“At Shiratorizawa?”

“Yeah,” Hinata sighed. Kageyama shook his head.

“What are they making you do?”

“Nothing bad,” Hinata defended, his look flickering to Kageyama’s face before looking away. “Just, it’s a lot,” he mumbled.

“Shouyou,” Kageyama said sternly and Hinata’s eyes went wide, his mouth almost saying ‘what the hell’ as Kageyama let his wrist drop. “This isn’t right,” he told him. “You belong with Karasuno,”

“But Shirat-

“You belong here,” he repeated but Hinata shook his head in frustration.

“You guys don’t need me anymore!” He yelled. Kageyama went silent. So that was it. “You, you’re perfect without me, but I can’t do shit alone. Everyone has talents but all I can do is jump high. At least over there I will be trained properly, I don’t care if it kills me, I have to get better!”

“It is already killing you, dumbass!” Kageyama argued, grabbing Hinata’s shirt and forcing him to look back. “I haven’t seen you smile properly for ages, you are _actually_ tired, you’re even sloppier than usual. You aren’t yourself,” he urged and Hinata grabbed onto his wrist, squeezing with the hand with less bandages.

“You don’t understand! I’m _useless!_ You’re amazing already, you can fight alone-”

“And that lost me a team. Now I have a team, but you’re not on it. You’re not useless, we need your skills. We were meant to be partners…” His voice caught and he internally swore at himself. “We’re meant to stay together, fight together. I still want to try to make us the best in Japan. I still want you to be my partner. There is no one else who can get my toss, even with their eyes shut. No one has trusted me like this before and you’re going to leave and get yourself killed. I don’t want that!” He shouted and Hinata scrunched his face up.

“Shut up! You don’t understand!”

“Help me to.” Kageyama’s voice was suddenly soft as he carefully lowered Hinata down, his hand resting against his chest. Hinata’s mouth quivered before his eyes glassed over and he grabbed Kageyama’s shirt and hid in it. “You made me better. How can I help you?” he asked as gently as he could, letting a hand sit on top of Hinata’s hair, deciding he may as well bury his hand in it.

“Bakayama,” Hinata sniffed. “You were so mean,”

“I’m- I’m sorry, Shouyou,” he murmured, and Hinata sniffed again.

“Me too. But-”

“Can’t we just work on it? Can’t you stay?” he asked and Hinata shrugged.

“You don’t need me,”

“We do,”

“No I mean _you_ don’t.” Kageyama’s whole mouth went dry. He nestled his hand a little closer to Hinata’s scalp and gingerly rested the other on Hinata’s waist.

“I need you the most,” he managed to say without choking up his lungs, and Hinata leant against him more. “You’re… not my partner, you’re… different,” he whispered.

“What does that even mean?” Hinata sighed, starting to move away but Kageyama pulled him back.

“I _like_ you, dammit. And your hair is soft,” he mumbled, letting his forehead rest against the orange bush, letting out a sigh. At least it was out in the open now.

“You what?” Whatever Hinata had been expecting, it hadn’t been that, apparently.

“Use you ears, idiot,” Kageyama hissed and Hinata nervously looked up.

“You mean as friends?” he asked curiously and Kageyama shook his head, feeling his cheeks heat up. Why couldn’t he have liked someone smarter?

“No, like… more. What part of ‘I like you’ don’t you understand, dumbass? I’m confessing!” Kageyama was nearly shouting again, but Hinata started to smile a little, his own cheeks blushing.

“So you want me to stay, for you?” Hinata asked and Kageyama looked away, but nodded. He was probably a very tall tomato at this point. Then he felt something land on his chin and his eyes widened as he saw Hinata moving back down on his toes and scowling. “Why do you have to be tall? I can’t reach!” He whined and Kageyama narrowed his eyes.

“Reach what?” he asked sceptically and Hinata blushed harder, fidgeting with Kageyama’s shirt.

“I don’t want to not be your partner. I want to make our quicks work and, and you look hot when you toss.” He mumbled the last bit but Kageyama eyes bugged out and Hinata shoved him away a little. “I like you too, I wanted to kiss you.” he explained and Kageyama felt himself go a little lightheaded.

“So, you’re going to stay?” He managed to choke out and Hinata nodded.

“Yeah. I want to learn with you,” he decided and Kageyama smiled weakly, instantly regretting pretty much everything that had just happened. But his gut wasn’t wrenching anymore. He coughed and pushed Hinata away from him, picking up his wrist to look at his hand again.

“You shouldn’t play for a while,” he said gruffly and Hinata just linked their fingers, making Kageyama choke.

“Don’t get sick idiot, I still want to kiss you,” Hinata said and Kageyama made a strangled noise. He rolled his eyes and used his free hand to yank on Kageyama’s neck and kissed him, only for a few seconds (because Kageyama’s hands were flailing) before letting him go. “You suck at that,” Hinata teased and Kageyama grabbed the nearest ball and threw it at him.

“Asshole!”

“Dumbass! Don’t throw balls at me! We’re dating now!” Hinata shouted and Kageyama kept throwing. It was only until the last ball was halfway across the gym that he stopped.

“Did you bring your bike today?” Kageyama mumbled, panting a little and Hinata nodded. Kageyama felt himself sink a little before Hinata’s hand was in his.

“I’ll walk it.” He told him, and Kageyama managed a small smile. “Ushijima is too tall anyway.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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